Standard Haunt
by WindSpirit79
Summary: A standard haunt turns out to be not what the boys have bargained for.


**Standard Haunt**

_Disclaimer:__I don't own SN, only the very awesome Mr. Kripke and the CW have that honor._

_Authors note: I have to give credit to Brie for this one. A late night convo with a friend descended into crack and made the inspiration for this_. _Thanks to GG101 for my beta job._

The bell over head chimed as the two young men entered. The waitress smiled. "Have a seat, I'll be right with you."

The older one nodded and they slid into a booth by the window. Dean picked up the menu on his side and Sam did the same. "Oooh," Dean drawled, "check it out Sam. They have something called hot fudge pie."

The younger brother rolled his eyes. "You and your pie obsession." Covertly, his eyes slid over the dessert section of the menu looking for the treat. It did sound good.

The bell rang again and they barely glanced up as they took note of the women taking a booth over from them. The waitress came over then. "Hey fellas. What can I get you this afternoon?"

Dean looked up and smiled. "I'll have the steak hoagie and the home fries. Coffee, black. And some of that hot fudge pie for dessert."

She dipped her head and shifted her attention to Sam. "I'll take the grilled BBQ chicken sandwich and a side salad. Black coffee for me too and..." His eyes slid toward Dean. He knew it was coming, might as well get it over with. "A slice of the same pie." He groaned inwardly at Dean's grin.

"Coming right up."

As she walked off to place the order, Dean looked at Sam. "Couldn't resist the pie, eh Sammy? Guess maybe I'm not the only one with an obsession."

Sam ignored him and a short time later their meal came. They ate peacefully and were enjoying their coffee and pie when they caught a snippet of conversation from the table next to them.

"It's just awful. Poor Lucy is so upset. Can't even get a decent nights sleep. It's all hours now."

"I know and she's all alone over there. I'd be scared out of my wits."

"You know she thinks there has to be a reasonable explanation. But really, what on earth can make a toilet flush on it's own?"

"She's had two plumbers out there to check the pipes and they can't find any cause for it. Besides, there's the other things. Like the TV coming on when no one has been near it. Her diningroom is so cold!" The other woman nodded, frowning.

Sam and Dean took longer than they needed to finish their dessert, leisurely sipping coffee as they listened.

"Things do seem to have gone down hill since her uncle died. Poor dear."

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The two women left and Dean stood, tossing some bills on the table. Sam had already started for the parking lot. He casually approached the women as they unlocked their car. "Excuse me?"

They looked up and took in the tall man before them. He tried to smile reassuringly, not wanting to scare them. "Yes?"

Bashful smile now. "My friend and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation inside."

Both women became a little red faced having been caught in their gossip. "What about it?"

"Well see, we're actually plumbers and were wondering if this friend of yours might be in need of our services? We're very good at what we do. We might catch something the previous guys have missed." _Like a haunting._

The first woman, a forty-something red head, fidgeted. "I don't know. You see she's spent a lot on the consultations she's already had. I'm not sure she'd be up for that again."

"She also wants to keep it quiet." Piped up the dark haired companion. "It's embarrassing, having your plumbing issues all over town."

Sam bobbed his head. _Yes, I can see how that would be her bigger concern_. He thought. "Yes, of course I understand. It's a very delicate situation."

Dean came to stand next to him now. "I can assure you we're very discrete, and we wouldn't think of charging her for a preliminary inspection. The consultation would be free."

The women exchanged an uncertain look before staring into Sam's sincere face. "Well... I guess it couldn't hurt." Sam smiled warmly.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Slipping into the car, Dean started it up as Sam looked over the address the two women had just given them. "So it looks like we have a hunt."

"Yeah."

"Good work with her friends. That saved us some research."

Sam nodded. "A little yeah. Now we need to look into the history of the property and check to see if there's an obit on this uncle of hers. Sounds like this all started after he passed."

"Shouldn't be too hard. Sounds like your standard haunt."

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, except for one thing."

Dean's forehead creased. "What's that?"

"We told her friends we were plumbers."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, they might talk to her before we show up to check the place out."

"What are you getting at..." Sam looked apologetic. "Oh no, Sam. No way."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

The stood outside the door of the large yellow two story and Dean yanked at the collar of his jumpsuit. "I can't believe I'm wearing this again Sam!"

"Calm down alright. We had to look the part of she might get suspicious. This gives us an easier way in."

"Easier for you maybe." Dean grumbled as he looked down at the blue work suits they'd used on the werewolf gig. They were generic enough they could be made to look like plumbers uniforms. They carried with them a toolbox holding the EMF and other tools of their real trade.

The sweat ran down the backs of their necks as they stood in the sun, waiting for the doorbell to be answered. "What is taking this chick?"

"De-"

The door swung open revealing a woman in her early 30's, with long brown hair and blue eyes. "Yes? May I help you?"

Sam smiled. "Good morning ma'am. We're here to check about your pipes."

She frowned and looked them over. "I didn't call anyone."

"No ma'am," Dean jumped in, "we're here by referral."

"Referral? By who?" So much for dressing up in case her friends blabbed.

"A mutual acquaintance." Sam interjected. "Babs?"

The frown on her forehead eased slightly. "Babs sent you?"

"She told us about the problems you've been having lately. We offered to see if we can help."

The woman took on a look of annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Of course she did." Under her breath, "Woman can't keep a secret to save her life." She opened the door wider and swung her arm in a sweeping motion. "Well, come in."

"Thank you."

The boys stepped inside as she closed the door. They looked around at the bottom floor of a rather spacious house. Beautiful hardwood floors, oriental rugs and a huge dining area across the way. A large oak table sat in the middle, a small brass vase or urn sitting on top. Lucy clearly had money.

She turned to face them, arms crossed over her chest, skeptical. "So how much is this going to cost me? Because so far you people love to charge me an arm and a leg to tell me the same thing."

_Huh_. Lucy was a bitch. Thought Dean.

Sam shook his head. "No charge ma'am, at least not for an initial inspection. If we can't find the problem, no point in charging you."

Her stance shifted and some of the tension drained from her posture. She closed her eyes and let out a small sigh. "I'm sorry."

"'Ma'am -" Sam started.

She held out a palm, "Lucy, please. And I'm sorry for being so standoffish. It was rude of me."

Sam brushed off the apology, "It's okay."

"No, it isn't. It's just..." She shook her head tiredly. "This past 3 weeks has been hard. I guess I'm letting it get to me." She smiled. "Well, I should fill you in on the problem. This way."

She turned and started for the stairs. Dean noticed a blur run down past her legs as she began up and jolted a bit as something bumped his leg. "Wha -"

They all looked down to see a purring orange and white tabby rubbing lovingly on his leg. Lucy laughed slightly and offered up an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Thomas can be very affectionate."

"I can see that." He said leaning to scratch behind the large toms ears. He was more of a dog guy, but cats were okay. She tilted her head to the side.

"He doesn't usually take so fast to strangers. Must really like you."

Dean smiled cockily. "I get that a lot."

She gave him a look and started once more upward. Sam waited till her back was turned before he elbowed him in the side, a dirty look on his face.

"Ow!" Dean whispered furiously. "What?"

The cat gave Sams' leg a quick rub and then went on to other areas that needed his feline attention. "Knock it off man. We got work to do."

"Yeah, whatever." Dean grumbled.

Following her to the top of the stairs, she lead them left down a long hall. Reaching the last room, she leaned in and flipped on the light. Travertine floors and counter tops gleamed, a large tiled shower/tub combo was at the far wall. There was a double sink and then the toilet nearby. The boys shouldered past.

"So what seems to be the trouble?" Dean asked as he sat down the toolbox.

She ran a hand through her hair, shoving some behind her ear in a nervous gesture. "Well, it started out as just rumbling and thumping in the pipes. I figured maybe there was air in there, or a clog you know? But then -" She stopped, unsure how to proceed.

"But?" Sam urged her to continue.

"Then it got weird. The toilet started flushing by itself. All hours of the day, just flushing when no one else was here but me. I thought maybe there was a mechanism in the tank going bad, but the guys I had in say no. They have no idea why it would do that."

Sam was doing a cursory look around and paused his inspection of the toilet to look at her. "That it?"

"Uh," She paused again, but decided to plunge ahead. "The sinks. Up here and in the kitchen. They turn on on their own also. I'll be asleep, or in another room and I'll hear water running. Sometimes when I come in it will be on. Other times it's stopped when I get here, but they'll be wet. Even if I haven't used it for hours. Once I even found the tub filled up, as if..." She trailed off.

"As if, what?" Dean asked.

Wide eyes looked into his. "As if someone had prepared a bath. The water was still warm. I checked the stopper, it was up."

Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

"It must have been a coincidence right? The catch was flipped up for the stopper, so when the faucet - I don't know, leaked, it filled the tub?"

Dean smiled comfortingly. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. We'll find it."

She nodded. "I'll leave you to it then." Turning she disappeared back down the hall. Sam quickly shut the door. Dean was already getting things from the toolbox.

"Well, I think we can rule out bad plumbing." Said Dean as the EMF wailed.

"Oh yeah." Sam agreed as the little red lights flashed. "So what do you think? The house and property check clean. Her husband has been dead for 5 years, no problems after his passing."

Dean looked up. "She's a widow?"

Sam rolled his eyes with an annoyed huff, his default setting for Dean at times like this. "Yes Dean. I filled you in on all this at the motel."

"Oh yeah," He said offhanded. That was around the time he'd spotted a beautiful girl across the street through the window and gotten distracted. "So this uncle of hers, we know much about him?"

"Well he -"

Sam's answer was interrupted by a loud thumping and gurgling. It was near deafening in the quiet bathroom. The brothers traded looks. Dean deftly pulled his small sawed off from the oversized toolbox. They stood ready and still, breathing quietly.

What happened next took them by surprise. Water burst streaming from the sink as if directed right into Dean's face. "Arg!" He sputtered as it hit his eyes and nose, momentarily blinding him. His grip on the gun loosened and Sam stepped closer to help. It was then the door flew open with tremendous force, knocking Sam down next to the toilet.

"Ugh!" He braced his arms on the open lid as he tried to regain his footing. Then he felt himself being pushed forward. "No!"

Dean heard Sam's cry as he sputtered and the toilet flushed. "Sam!" He shouted, wiping water out of his eyes he rushed forward to help his brother. Something caught his arm. He spun to see the shower head cord wrapped around his forearm.

Meanwhile Sam sat up spitting, arms straining to hold his upper body. His hair was wet and churned up wildly on top of his head. That was it, this hunt officially sucked.

Dean managed to get his shotgun raised and fired toward the shower. The cord severed and the tile cracked and broke as the rocksalt hit. He spun toward the toilet and hauled Sam up by the underarms. They were both breathing heavily as they glanced around the room swiftly.

"See anything?"

"No." Dean allowed a smirk now that Sam was okay. "Unless you mean the new hairstyle you're rockin'. " Sam glowered. "I have to say, swirly by a poltergeist is a new one for me."

"Haha." Sam bit out sarcastically. "We're chasing ghosts in toilets Dean. This is low even for us."

"Come on Sammy, gotta go where the jobs are. At least this time we aren't chasing some skin shedding sicko through the sewers. And it was clean." He leaned forward slightly, peering into the bowl. "Or not. For as fancy as this house looks, you wouldn't think she'd have rim stain."

Sam could only stare at his brother open mouthed. Seriously, he must have been switched at birth.

They both jumped as the door slammed open, and Dean was ready to fire till he saw Lucy standing there, eyes wide and horrified. "What the hell is going on in here?" She yelled.

She took in Sam's disheveled state as he dripped on the floor, Dean holding the gun and the shower behind marred beyond saving. She whirled back to him. "You shot my shower? Are you crazy?"

Dean looked back at the shower, then at her and shrugged. "Mildew. Wicked nasty."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

She backed out of the bathroom. "You're insane. I'm calling the cops." She turned and ran for the stairs.

Dean quickly followed, chasing her and grabbing her arm. She screamed and spun around, kicking out. "Hey, hey! Calm down! We're not going to hurt you! We're not here to hurt you!" She continued to struggle in panic.

"You're nuts, let go of me!"

"Lucy!" Sam was next to them now, also putting a hand out to steady her. She flinched away and he stood back plams out. "Look, we aren't going to hurt you. And we aren't crazy. No more than you are."

"Yeah right." She choked out in a sob.

_Aw hell_, Dean thought, he hated it when women cried. "Lucy." He said firmly and she met his eyes. He held her gaze. "I promise you that we are here to help you." He could feel the arm he held shaking. She shook her head back and forth in frightened denial. "Yes. We are."

"Lucy," Sam said again, beseeching. "You know there's more going on here than just a plumbing issue don't you?"

She shook her head again, stuttering. "I... I don't know what you mean."

"Of course you do, just think about it." Dean said. "Do you really think this, everything that's been happening, is normal?"

"It's not just the faucets or the plumbing, and you know that, don't you?" Sam said softly.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and nodded. She opened them again and her gaze instantly fell to Deans' hand that held the shotgun. "But why?"

He released her arm to show her she was safe with them and sighed. "That's going to take a while to explain."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

"You really expect me to believe that?" Lucy asked looking between the two of them. The troop had headed down to the kitchen - after getting a towel for Sam, and were now having coffee while the brothers explained the real reason behind their visit. "You want me to believe ghosts are real?"

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. Why was it always like this? Even having seen clearly unexplainable things people still refused to believe the truth. "It would be nice."

"Look," Sam put his elbows on the table. "how else do you explain it? Cold spots, TV coming on by itself and the water?"

She sat staunchly in her chair. "I told you. Drafts. Power surges. The plumbing. There's nothing else it could be." She set her jaw. "Ghosts don't exist."

Dean groaned. She had to be one of _those_ people. "Look lady -"

Sam knew his brother was getting ready to say something that would probably make the situation worse, so he kicked him under the table. "Ah." Dean glared at him. Sam gave him his own look and turned to Lucy.

"I know how hard this must be to accept, but we're telling you the truth."

"And I think if you let go of your denial," Dean added, "you'd see it too."

She sat silently watching them for a moment before burying her head in her hands. "God. I tried so hard to tell myself I wasn't crazy, I was imagining it all. But I'm not," she raised her head, "am I?"

"No." Said Sam. "Do you have any idea why your late uncle would want to haunt you?"

"I have no idea. This is all so -" she laughed without humor. "I should have known you know. My cats did."

Dean's eyebrow shot up. "Your cats?"

"Yes. The cats never did take well to Uncle Buz." Dean and Sam still couldn't get over the fact the old guy was named Buz. "When the urn came into the house they were beside themselves. They'd hiss and growl at is as they walked past. Till last week when Tilly, my Persian, let lose a wail and bolted, knocking it over. Uncle Buz was all over the diningroom," _What kind of person keeps their dead uncle on the diningroom table anyway?_ "And I just couldn't get it all swept back in. I couldn't leave the dust in the carpet, it's unsanitary and I'm a Virgo you know? So I got out the vacuum."

Dean felt a pit in his stomach. "You mean to tell me you sucked the old guy up like some random dust bunny?"

Lucy blanched. "Well when you say it like that..."

Dean just shook his head. He couldn't believe how a mans' remains could be taken as no more than a mess for cleanup. Shouldn't eternal rest be, I don't know, more dignified?

"I was going to put him back in the urn, but since I hadn't thought to empty the vac beforehand-"

"He was mixed with household dirt." Sam finished.

She nodded, eyes shiney. "I never meant to disrespect him. I loved him so much. It's why I brought him back to stay here with me. I know his wishes were to be spread on the 18th hole of the golf course where he played his best game, but-"

"Wait" Dean held up a hand. "Are you telling me not only did you use him as a centerpiece," Lucy looked hurt at the accusation, "and vacuumed him up like so much dust, but that you also went against his last wishes?"

She at least had the sense to look ashamed.

"Great." He said snidely. "Well Sam, you know what this means."

He shook his head. "We have to retain all his ashes, then spread them where he requested." He looked at her. "It's the only way to end this."

"Okay." Lucy said quietly. The gravity of her mistakes hitting her fully. _Oh Uncle Buzzy, please forgive me._

Dean rose. "So?"

Sam joined him. "We get the vacuum."

Dean smirked. "So you're telling me we're going to investigate a haunted Hoover?"

"Dean!" Sam snapped. "Not funny."

"Oh come on, it was a little funny."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Down the hall Lucy showed them the storage closet. They looked down on the appliance. Sam pulled it out while Dean reached for the plug and squatted next to the outlet. "Not often our job really sucks, eh Sam?"

He ignored his big brothers' off color joke and knelt down next to the machine. Lucy had gone to get the urn. All they had to do was empty the bin into it and take it to-

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud sound of the vacuum turning on. Sam's eyes jerked left. "Dean, what are you...?"

"I didn't." Dean still had the plug in his hand.

Both barely had warning when the lumbering vac came to life. It whizzed sideways, nearly knocking Dean off balance. Then the long hose attachment unfurled and darted like a snake uncoiling at Sam. He was too close to it to get out of the way and the hose wrapped tightly around his throat.

"Gah." Sam tried to pry it off, but it was too tight.

By this time Dean was on his feet trying to pull the hose from around his brothers' neck. He had a falshback to the lamp cord in Kansas, this sucker was holding just as stubborn. Shit. He didn't have a knife to cut this tubingwith. _What the hell was he going to do? _

"Hang on Sammy!" He shouted to a now very red faced Sam. Grabbing the base of the vacuum, Dean yanked as hard as he could, trying to pull the hose form the body. In a last act of defiance, the tub of the vacuum compartment burst open, showering him a cloud of dust. Right up his nose and down his throat. "Sonofabitch!"

Dean gagged and coughed, matching the sounds the now free Sam was making. Lucy ran into the room. "Oh dear." She was taking in the scene.

Sam was breathing deeply on his side as he lay on the floor, his color returning to normal. Dean continued to gack and then released a great sneeze. This drew a "Meow" from one of Lucy's 3 cats who had lined up inside the door to watch the spectacle.

The elder hunters face, hair and shoulders were covered in grey powder. "Oh nasty!" he shouted. "I think I inhaled Buz!" Clearly grossed out by the thought, he made a face. It was one Sam shared as he sat up and got a good look at his sibling. He sneezed again.

Sam dug in his pocket and pulled out a hanky. "Blow him out dude."

Dean grimaced, but did as instructed.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Later that evening Lucy bid the brothers goodbye from her doorway. Having collected the ashes, they'd scattered the old mans' remains as he'd wished, on his beloved 18th hole. They both thought that was a stupid place to request, but hey, it wasn't their ashes. They'd swept the house with the EMF just to be sure, Buz was gone. Thank goodness.

"Man, I'm glad that's over." Dean said as he got into the Impala.

"Yeah, me too."

Dean snorted. "I bet."

Sam's brow furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Dude you serious?" He looked over huffing a laugh. "Head dunked in a toilet and choked by a vacuum hose around your neck. I gotta say this is probably the most embarrassing hunt you've ever had Sammy." Dean finished chuckling.

Sam glared, then smiled. "Laugh it up Dean. At least I didn't swallow a dead guy."

Dean's face turned green, all signs of humor quickly faded. Sam's laughter however, didn't for some time.


End file.
